Letting Go
by akiasi
Summary: After the downfall of the Governor, Rick and Michonne begin to experience their own failures. With Andrea's ghost haunting Michonne and Rick's internal war with his humanity, both warriors begin to realize that in order to heal, they have to let go.
1. Chapter 1

Rick shifted his wedding ring as he stared at the prison yard. He was worried about something. His plants were finally blossoming and ready to be harvested, but that wasn't the reason he was worried. Daryl had returned a month ago from his search for the Governor without Michonne. He had come back weary and exhausted, swearing up and down that Michonne was crazy. All he had mentioned was that they had come close to finding him weeks ago, but now the trail was cold. As for Michonne's absence, all he would say was that she was insane. He would shake his head and walk away at the mention of her name. Similar to Rick, Carl was also worried. He secluded himself from most of the other kids and spent most of his time in his cell reading old comic books that Michonne loved. Even Judith, who was slowly becoming accustomed to Michonne, felt how anxious everyone had become and had started to cry uncontrollably. Rick wasn't sure what to do with himself. Every little thing reminded him of her and the more he thought about her the more he worried, so it became an unending cycle. He started talking to himself, making promises that if she returned safely, then he would try and go on a run. It had been awhile since he had held a gun or stepped too far away from the prison. He had become scared of the man he was becoming and had secluded himself to the farming lifestyle. A couple months ago before she had left, Michonne had spoken to him about his gun, but he had simply brushed it off. Now, he would do anything just as long as she returned safely. As if the universe was listening to his silent prayers, she finally returned.

Riding through the prison gates, she was instantly surrounded by father and son. As soon a she got of her horse, Carl ambushed her with a hug, whispering a silent prayer to the universe for bringing Michonne back.

"Whoa!" Michonne replied as she hugged him back.

Rick stood watching, saying his own private prayer.

"Good to see you" he drawled in his southern twang as she finally met his eyes.

Michonne knew that she had a lot to answer for as she studied the relief and weariness within his eyes, but for now she replied "Good to see you, too."

As people became aware of the returning warrior, more people headed outside to see the mysterious figure. Most of the new people at the prison had no idea who Michonne was because she was never there. All they heard were stories and encounters that had painted Michonne to be some kind of legend. However, for the few individuals, who actually knew Michonne, excitement and fear ran through their veins as they went outside to witness her return.

Carl, so afraid of losing her again, held on tightly to Michonne as more people surrounded her horse. Daryl pushed through the growing crowd, in search of Michonne. He had to witness it for himself. The last time he had seen her, she had pushed her way into a building of walkers before urging him to return to the prison. All he could do was stare. She looked tired, but for the most part she was still here. Finally,sensing the large crowd that had gathered, Rick turned towards the spectators and urged them to continue their tasks for the day. People slowly moved as they tried to capture a mental image of Michonne.

"So did you find him?" Daryl asked bluntly.

"No, but I am thinking of heading towards Macon." Michonne responded.

Immediately, Rick, Carl and Daryl all groaned.

Carl loosened his grip on Michonne as he asked "Do you have to go?"

"Yeah," Rick added, "is it worth it?"

"The trails been cold for a while now." Daryl stated.

Michonne sighed. She didn't have the energy to argue with all of them today, so she nodded and agreed. She would just stay for couple of days, before she set out in search for the Governor again.

* * *

Michonne had only been at the prison for a week, but she was already itching to return to the road. The best thing about her return was the large amount of time she had been spending with Rick and Carl. They were the first people she saw when she woke up and the last people she saw when she went to bed. Rick had once again become the last person she saw before she went to sleep. She was certain that he wanted to guarantee that she was actually there. It had become a ritual since the day he had apologized to her for almost giving her to the Governor for them to meet and talk. At first, he would walk by to say good night, wait a couple of minutes until he was sure everyone else was asleep and walk back over to her cell before leaving early in the morning. That first night, they had only talked about the Governor, with mostly Michonne talking, while Rick listened. As Michonne grew closer to Carl, the more they had to talk about. They mostly talked about Carl, avoiding any discussions about their pasts. Rick would talk as Michonne listened. Rick would knock on her cell three times, before entering, usually bringing a present that included a candy bar or a comic book. They had finally gotten to the point, where they would share the bed as they talked. They were comfortable around each other. Never feeling the need to pretend or be guarded, they had established a level of trust that was beyond the need for survival. Thus, as they laid on the bed in a comfortable silence, Michonne whispered, "I saw Andrea."

Rick, who had been staring at the ceiling trying to figure out why his tomatoes weren't growing, immediately turned toward Michonne. He knew what it meant. After all, she had been in the room, when Andrea had stopped herself from turning. The horror of seeing the dead. The name triggered memories of a time when he saw Lori.

"I saw her in a building" Michonne continued, "It was filled with walkers and I know I shouldn't have, but I had to…"

"Is that why Daryl keeps calling you crazy" Rick questioned.

"The farther away I get, the more I see her," Michonne finally stated as she turned towards Rick.

Rick studied her face. She looked weary. The sturdy exterior had worn off and he was now left with a softer Michonne. The Michonne that had cried when she had first held Judith. He had no words to cure her, so he kept silent waiting for her to say something else.

"When did you stop seeing…" she paused as she realized she was about to enter uncharted territory. For the most part, they never talked about their pasts. It was just a door that neither one of them was ready to open, let alone talk about.

Rick sighed. She and Hershel were the only ones who knew about his visions of Lori. "I think they stopped when you came back from Merle."

Michonne nodded unsure of what to say. A comfortable silence filled the room before Rick continued "I don't know why or how, but seeing you again…"

Rick gazed at Michonne, hoping to convey some of what he was feeling.

"Is that why you are always happy to see me?" Michonne teased.

Rick smiled, "Maybe."

* * *

Michonne awoke the next morning feeling less than stellar. After Rick had left, she had spent the night tossing and turning. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Andrea staring back at her smiling. Andrea's ghost was haunting her, creeping into her life, reminding her of all the pain she was trying to conceal. In frustration, Michonne woke up and pulled the map from underneath her pillow. She placed it flat on the floor and began to trace the possible paths that the Governor might have followed. She knew heading out towards Macon was risky, but it was worth it. Maybe once she killed the Governor and avenged Andrea's death, she would stop seeing visions of Andrea. With that spark of motivation, she began packing in a hurry. If she left by sunrise, she could cover more ground and hopefully be around Macon by nightfall.

It was about an hour before the sun would rise and life at the prison would begin. It was at this time that Michonne sneaked out of her cell and headed towards the prison yard. She headed towards her horse, hoping that the two weeks of rest had helped her as much as it had helped Michonne. Grabbing the reigns, she headed towards the gate hoping that her movements wouldn't stir the few walkers clinging to the gate. Rick and Carl, who woke up at the crack of dawn every morning to begin farming, had just stepped out into the prison yard when they saw Michonne heading towards the gate. Immediately, Carl ran towards Michonne hoping to catch her before she left.

"MICHONNE" he yelled breathless as he finally caught up with her.

She turned around smiling as she saw Carl approaching her.

"Hey!" she greeted as she brought him into a hug.

Rick who had been watching the scene, smiled to himself noticing the excitement in Carl's voice. He took the opportunity to watch her, the way she effortlessly interacted with Carl. He frowned to himself noticing the gear she had packed. She was going out again.

"Shit!" he whispered as he approached the dynamic duo.

"I left two more comics in your room, that I think you might like," she stated to Carl as she ruffled his hair "oh, and you better be done with them by the time I get back."

"You leaving?" Rick interrupted, ignoring the moment she was sharing with Carl.

"Yeah, just for a little bit." Michonne replied feeling the intensity of Rick's stare.

"You think that's a good idea?" Rick stated as he tilted his head to side and stared at the ground before meeting Michonne's eyes again.

Carl stood in the middle, as he watched Michonne and Rick stare at each other. He could feel the intensity seething in the space between them and wasn't sure what to do. Part of him felt like he should leave, but the other part of him wanted to stay there and watch Michonne as she left.

"Rick…" Michonne began already foreseeing the argument that was about to take place.

Rick interrupted her again, "Carl, go check on your sister."

"But, Dad!" Carl moaned.

"It's alright, go give your sister a hug for me. I'll be back before you know it! Ok." She said one last time as she pulled Carl into one last hug before he grudgingly left.

With Carl gone, Rick didn't waste any time getting straight to the point. "Is it worth it?"

"Rick…"

"What happens when you see her out there again? Huh? Are you gonna chase her? Get yourself in a building full of walkers just so that you can see her one last time?" Rick questioned. He touched the bridge of his nose, hoping to calm the frustration that was building.

"Rick…"

"He ain't worth it." He finally whispered staring down at ground, hoping that Michonne understood what he was asking. He needed her alive and safe at the prison.

Michonne sighed. She knew that he was right, but killing the Governor was top priority in her life at the moment. Everyone had a job to do and her job was to kill the Governor.

"Rick…" Michonne whispered as she reached for his hand "I'll be back. I promise."

Rick stood silently, staring at the empty space between him and Michonne. Rick's whole body felt defeated. All the exhaustion and weariness that he had been holding on to for weeks engulfed his body as he listened to her speak.

"DAD! WALKERS!"

Rick and Michonne immediately started running towards the prison at the sound of Carl's yelling. She pulled her katana out, as Rick grabbed his knife.

* * *

People were dying left and right. Every minute of every day, someone was either getting sick or dying from the sickness. Rick, who had relieved himself of any leadership roles, found himself sitting at the council meeting with the few members that hadn't gotten sick. Glen, Sasha and Carol were in quarantine, so that left Daryl and Hershel. Today, Rick and Michonne had been asked to attend the meeting. They were planning the supply run for the medical supplies that would cure the sickness.

"How many people we got left?" Daryl asked looking over at Hershel.

"Only a few that can actually handle being out there." Hershel answered looking over at Rick. He wanted to ask Rick to go out on the supply run, but he knew that Rick wouldn't be able to do it.

Rick shifted in his chair under Hershel's gaze. He knew they needed him to go, but he wasn't ready to leave.

"Daryl and I can go. We've been out there before. We know our way around." Michonne responded looking over at Hershel.

"Okay, then its settled. I'll write down the list."

Rick watched as Michonne said goodnight to Carl and Judith as they headed out to the quarantined area for kids. He smiled watching how effortlessly she transitioned from warrior to friend. Her cold exterior softened, as she waved them off.

"Hey," Rick said as he joined her. They both stood and watched as Carl entered the secured area.

"You were right." Michonne began, "I don't need to go out there anymore." She sighed, "At first, it was about finding him and killing him, but then I started seeing her, chasing her..."

Michonne turned towards Rick hoping that she wouldn't have to continue. Saying it would mean letting go, letting Andrea go. Rick tilted his head towards her understanding the impact of letting go. In that moment, he realized what he had to do.

"I'm gonna go on the run." Rick stated.

Michonne stood there, allowing the gravity of what he was saying to sink in.

"You sure?" Michonne questioned.

Rick stared at the ground before meeting Michonne's eyes. She reached out towards his hand, giving it a light squeeze as she gazed back at him. They were both letting go.

* * *

"You ready?" Daryl asked as Rick and Michonne approached his motorcycle. He watched as Rick looked hesitantly towards him. Daryl nodded at him understanding how difficult it was for Rick to leave his kids behind. As he turned his head forward, he saw Michonne's hand reach out and squeeze Rick's hand. It happened so quickly, he could have sworn he dreamt it up. The two were becoming increasingly close and it was becoming more and more evident. The fact that Michonne spent more time with the Grimes family than anyone else was clue number one that something was going on. With their whispering and intense eye contact, they had unknowingly created a little world of their own. Daryl watched as Rick opened the passenger door for Michonne and waited for her to sit before shutting the door. Something was definitely going on.


	2. Chapter 2

"They are going to be fine." Michonne stated, breaking the silence.

It had been about an hour since they had driven away from the prison and Rick was still twitchy. For the past thirty minutes, she watched his thumb hit the steering wheel about a hundred times. She understood how difficult it was for him to leave his kids. At the end of the day, they were all he had left from his previous life. The situation at the prison was too dangerous for him not to go. Who knew how many more people would die as they attempted to get a cure...

Rick nodded, acknowledging Michonne, but his grip tightened around the steering wheel. He turned towards the abandoned road, following Daryl's motorcycle. They were headed to the college a few miles ahead in search of medicine and medical equipment. Rick had memorized Hershel's supply list in his head and found himself murmuring it as he drove. It calmed him and reminded him of the task ahead.

"It's a good think I brought back all those comic books for Carl. I don't know how he'd survive this quarantine without them." Michonne spoke again, trying to ease Rick's mind.

He smiled in response. "Yeah, thank you for that."

"Well, I did bring something back for you too, but I see your face is still losing the war." Michonne quipped, staring at Rick's beard.

Rick laughed, as he rubbed the growing beard on his face. "It's my farming beard."

"I swear, every time I come back it gets longer and longer. One day it's going to be as long and gray as Hershel's beard." She laughed

"Well, maybe if you stuck around, you'll get to see the transformation."

Michonne paused, thinking of their earlier conversation. "I think I will."

Rick smiled, and finally loosened his grip on the steering wheel. "I think we are here." He stated, as Daryl slowly stopped at the massive building and surrounding fence blocking it.

Michonne stared at the view before her. "You ready?"

Rick sighed, before hopping out the car and moving towards Daryl. With a majority of the prison population sick, including members of the council, it was just the three of them out on the supply run today. Although, they had a daunting task ahead of them, Daryl felt at ease with it just being them three. He wouldn't have to worry about them as much as he did with new people. The few months on the road with Michonne taught him that she was more than capable of handling her own. Despite, Rick's current farming lifestyle, he'd been with Rick since the beginning. He knew if he needed to, Rick would be good.

"Alright, let's do this clean and easy." Daryl spoke. "Get what we need and hurry back."

Rick nodded as he went through the list again in his head. "You good?" Daryl asked before they moved.

"Yeah, let's just hurry back." Rick replied, as they followed Michonne towards the building.

The run was going better than expected. They had made quick work of clearing walkers and finding an entrance to the building. They had found most of the items on their list. At the moment, they had split up to search for the last remaining medical items on the list. Michonne slashed through a walker, as she entered the now abandoned laboratory. The room reminded her of Terry. He was the science nerd of their group, always bringing up some scientific fact that neither her or Mike would understand. She laughed remembering all the science events he would drag them to attend. The Natural Bug Life Museum opening, where she spent half the night looking at dead crickets, only to find out that the menu included fried crickets. She sighed, thinking of those moments, knowing that she would give anything to have some of it back. But, then her mind wandered to life in the refugee camp and the nostalgia swept away. Michonne frowned as she remembered her once vibrant friend, turning into a complete shell of himself. All the drinking and smoking that Mike and Terry drowned themselves in, while she woke up everyday and dealt with the harsh realities of this new world. The anger rose within her as she looked at the room again. She was no longer reminded of Terry, but of the day she lost everything.

Michonne frowned as she began clearing the room. She grabbed her list from her back pocket and started searching for the last remaining items. The more time she spent in this room, the more she found herself getting upset. She hurriedly grabbed the items she needed and left the room. As she closed the door of the laboratory, she felt a presence standing before her.

"Mike?" Michonne questioned, looking up at the figure.

She blinked several times, but he still remained. He looked just as good as the first day they had met. The dark melanin on his skin reflected her own. His brown eyes entranced her just as much as when he first told her the loved her. Michonne dropped her bags, trying to breathe. She was hallucinating. She knew she was losing it, but yet her mind continued to wander. It had taken a long time for her to stop seeing him, so seeing him again after all this time was overwhelming. Meeting Andrea had helped her to let him go, but she was still angry with him for all that he had taken from her. Now, that Andrea was gone, Michonne found herself at a crossroad.

In her last moments, Andrea had told her how happy she was that Michonne had found Rick's people. She had promised Andrea that she wouldn't run off alone, and that she'd try. For the most part, Michonne had kept her word. When she wasn't running off to find the Governor, she would hangout with Carl and Rick. Sometimes, Daryl or Glen and Maggie, if she stayed for more than a week. She would try for as long as she could, before she'd head out again. Despite, the promise she made to Andrea, Michonne had another promise that she had made to herself after losing Andre. She was going to survive, with or without Mike. Part of her surviving was not getting to close to anyone that could jeopardize that promise. She'd made that exception for Andrea and now the Governor was out there somewhere.

Michonne closed her eyes, trying to regain her thoughts. "He's not real." She whispered to herself. But, as she opened her eyes, Mike remained standing before her, looking as real as ever. He smiled at her and turned towards the little boy emerging from the dark hallway and running towards them. Michonne gasped, as she watched Mike pick Andre up and hold him in his arms. They both waved at her, before heading towards the dark hallway. Michonne dropped everything and followed. Caught in a trance, she ignored the sound of nearing walkers as she followed them.

The sound of falling glass distracted Rick from his task at hand. They had split up a couple of minutes ago to search for the last remaining medical supplies on the list. He grabbed all of the items on his list, plus a few more things he'd heard Hershel mention in passing. For his first supply run in a couple of months, he was feeling quite proud of himself. He stopped the task before him to inspect the sound of falling glass. He glanced outside the classroom window near the hallway. He glanced suspiciously around. In his mind, he hoped it was just a walker stumbling around. He wasn't sure if he was ready to handle any human threats. After his fight with the Governor, Rick no longer trusted his own code for dealing with any potential human threat.

He waited a couple more seconds, tapping his gun as he waited to hear the sound again. He sighed, wondering if his mind was playing tricks on him again. Just as he moved away from the window, he saw Michonne walk past him. The sword that was always by her side was missing and she looked like she was in a trance. He looked back at the window, waiting to see what she was doing, but she just kept walking. He frowned. Grabbing the two bags full of supplies, Rick slowly exited the room careful not to make too much noise in case of nearing walkers. He glanced down the hallway and saw the bag of supplies and Michonne's sword on the ground. He frowned, as he stared back at the wandering Michonne. "Michonne!" He whispered, but she kept walking. "Shit." From a distance, he could hear the sound of nearing walkers.

Daryl stood at the small entrance they had cleared, waiting for Rick and Michonne. They had separated a couple of minutes ago and were supposed to meet back at the entrance in about thirty minutes. However, it was now well past thirty minutes and he was the only one there. He hoped they were running late because they had found more supplies, but who knew with this two as of late. He sighed as he looked at the building. Daryl looked at the surrounding area. In his past life, he never would have made it to a place like this. Life has a way of surprising you. However, Daryl wasn't ready for the surprise of seeing Rick and Michonne running towards him with a full trail of walkers behind him.

"What the fuck?" Daryl muttered as he grabbed his crossbow and began taking a few stalkers down.

"Let's go!" Rick yelled, as they ran towards the fence, slashing walkers as they made a beeline towards their ride.

Michonne quickly opened the door throwing in all the supplies they had found.

"What happened to doing this clean and easy?" Daryl yelled, as he and Rick slashed through the walkers nearing the car.

"Go!" Michonne yelled at Daryl, covering him from walkers so that he could get on his bike.

Rick moved next, hopping into the car and starting the engine. He watched as Michonne slashed through walker after walker. She was different from the subdued woman he had just encountered a couple of minutes ago.

"Get in." He yelled at Michonne, as she slashed the last walker. She jumped in, and Rick turned the car, following the trail Daryl had set before them.

"What the fuck happened back there?" Rick questioned.

Michonne sighed, finally having a moment to catch her breath.

"Fuck, Michonne! I could've lost you back there."

"I know. I know." Michonne whispered. "I know."

Rick sighed in frustration, staring at the road ahead. "I could've lost you." He whispered again, almost to himself.

"I know. It was stupid."

"Carl would've lost you. Maggie, Glen..."

"Rick, I know." Michonne interrupted.

"No, you don't know. We care about you. We worry about you. So, when you go off..." Rick sighed in frustration, letting his anger takeover. "You're not on your own anymore. You have people that care about you, that worry about you." Rick trailed off, mumbling the rest of his speech to himself.

Michonne turned towards Rick, finally realizing the impact of her leaving continuously was having on him. She wasn't sure what to say. Seeing Mike and Andre again had reminded her of how much she once had and how much she had quickly lost. She was scarred to put herself in that position again. Then she remembered her promise to Andrea. Andrea was right. She was lucky to have found Rick and his people. In finding them, she had found a piece of herself again. She was able to laugh and smile again. Michonne paused, watching Rick as he drove, still muttering to himself.

"Rick, I'm gonna stick around more. I promise." Michonne finally stated.

Rick turned towards her. "Yeah?" He questioned.

"Yeah." Michonne replied.


	3. Chapter 3

It was all happening in slow motion. She could feel herself moving, but it was all a blur. She felt the zip ties being forced around her arms, digging into her bare skin. The sound of Hershel's calm breath as he knelt beside her on the ground. Michonne looked over at the prison, watching as Rick desperately hurried towards the fence to face the scene before him. Despite, the blur of the moment, Michonne's mind moved fast. She calculated how long it would take to loosen her own ties, free Hershel, and kill the Governor. Months and months of searching and here he was standing before her. A part of her was frustrated that she hadn't found him sooner. She had gotten comfortable and distracted, and in doing so, she was paying the ultimate price. In her mind, Michonne had one one job-to kill the governor. In her failure, she had put the people closest to her in jeopardy.

Michonne could hear Rick speaking, but her mind focused on loosening her ties. She slowly moved back and forth, careful not to draw too much attention to her actions. She paused, as the Governor stepped down from his post with her sword in his hands. The sight of her weapon in the hands of the man who killed Andrea, infuriated Michonne. With the sword, only a couple of inches away from Hershel's head, Michonne's mind worked in over drive. Scenarios played in her mind of how to save Hershel and kill the Governor.

"We let go of all of it." Rick began.

Michonne's mind stopped. She could hear the desperation in Rick's voice. In the midst of all the commotion, she'd forgotten about the lives that were at stake. The scene before them was about more than just her personal vendetta with the Governor. Michonne spent so much time searching and thinking of the Governor, that she didn't really know the people who were now caught up in this mess. She never considered what would happen after she actually found him and killed him. Now, kneeling before the gates of the prison, she finally saw the small community that had formed. The people who were worried about her when she didn't come back after weeks. The place that Carl could actually be a kid again and Rick could start a farm. Michonne finally saw the prison as her home.

"And nobody dies." Rick continued. "Everyone is alive right now, everyone has made it this far. We've all done the worst kinds of things, just to stay alive. But, we can still come back. We are not too far gone. We get to come back. I know we all can change. I know that now." He finished.

Every cell in her body wanted to run towards Rick and embrace him, but Michonne stood still taking in what he said. In hearing him speak, she realized he had done the thing that she still didn't know how to fully do-let go. He'd forgiven himself for the things he had to do to survive. He let go of his anger. In some way, Rick found peace.

"Let go." Hershel whispered, as he nodded at Rick. She thought he was speaking to the Governor, but as she turned towards him, Michonne realized he was looking at her. "Let go." He whispered once more at her, before he turned back towards Rick.

However, before her mind could process Hershel's words, the Governor swung her sword and killed him. Michonne's mind went into overdrive. She saw Hershel fall before her, followed by the sound of gunfire. Michonne rolled towards cover behind one of the cars. She hoisted herself up near the car and used the sharp edge of the license plate to set herself free. Knocking out one of the Governor's men, she grabbed his gun and set her sights out for the Governor. It took only a few seconds for her to find him. She scanned her environment calculating the best way to attack him. In scanning the scene before her, she saw her sword lying beside Hershel's head. She wished that she could have saved him, but the only way she could fix this was by killing the man who had started all of this. Michonne quickly grabbed her sword and headed towards her mission.

Michonne swung her sword through the Governor's people, before she finally saw him again. He was battling Rick on the ground. Even from a distance, she could see the damage he was doing to Rick. Blood surrounded the ground beneath them, while the Governor continued to choke Rick. Michonne reached the fight and quickly struck her sword through the Governor's heart in one swift motion. She watched as he finally fell down. The satisfaction that she felt, quickly disappeared as she helped Rick stand up. He looked even worse than she thought.

"Carl!?" He drawled, "where is Carl?"

"Rick, I..." She began, but he stumbled away, letting go of her arm. Michonne turned towards the Governor one last time and looked with disgust before moving away.

The scene before her was hectic and chaotic. A military tank had broken down the prison fence. The gunfire had attracted a trail of walkers. The prison guard tower and walls were partially demolished. The fallen were now turning into walkers. From a distance, Michonne could see a bus leaving the prison compound. She hoped that Carl and Judith were on that bus. Furthermore, she hoped that her people were okay. She knew that Rick was not dead, but he was in no condition to be alone either. Michonne sighed, in the midst of all of this, she had survived. However, she was back where she started-alone. For the first time, Michonne wasn't sure if she wanted that.

Alone and surrounded by walkers, Michonne began her new life. She gathered two walkers, and chained them with rope. With her two walkers beside her, she glanced back at the prison before setting out. As Michonne passed the clearing between the trees, she saw two footprints. One print resembled a boot, similar to the one Rick wore. The other mimicked Carl's shoe size. Michonne sighed. She tried. She really did try, but once again it was all taken from her. Michonne tried to protect the ones she loved, and in doing so she lost Andre. Thus, she closed that part of herself, but then she met Andrea and she tried. She allowed herself to care, and in doing so she lost her too. Then at the prison, Michonne slowly allowed herself to get close to Rick's people. Now, the prison was gone. Every time, she allowed herself to get close to anyone people died. The anger buried within her rose to the surface again. She was done trying. Michonne walked past the footprints and headed deeper into the forest.

She didn't know how long she had been walking, but she slowly realized that she was surrounded by walkers. Protected by her two walkers, Michonne was just another zombie, another monster. In a way, she was like the dead-alone, with nothing to live for. Once upon a time, she had everything to live for. There was a purpose to her survival. But, the walkers took that away from her, Mike and Terry took that away from her, then the Governor took that away from her. Her mind swirled, and Michonne began killing walker after walker. Michonne's anger bubbled over, as she struck a tree nearby. Finally, she stopped after every walker was killed and fell to the ground. Tears spilled from her eyes, and a deep sob escaped her lips, as she released a breath that she didn't realize she was holding. Michonne looked up and saw Hershel, Andrea, Terry, and Mike, holding Andre, standing before her.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't do more to save you." Michonne cried. Seeing them, Michonne remembered how much she had lost, but all so realized how much she had gained. Each one of them had given her something. They had helped her become stronger and smarter. They had helped her survive.

Michonne sighed. "Thank you. Terry, thank you for being there for Mike when I couldn't be. I know you kept him laughing until his last breath, so thank you." She paused. "Andrea, thank you. Thank you for showing me how to live again. It took me three months to say one word to you, but thank you for being patient and for being my friend. You somehow lead me to Rick's people-Glen, Maggie, Beth, Carol, Daryl, Judith, Carl...Hershel." Michonne glanced at Hershel in his overalls. "Hershel. I get it now. I get what you were teaching Rick and what you were trying to teach me there at the end. We can all come back. It's okay to let go. Thank you."

The tears streaming from her face blurred Michonne's vision, but she could still make out Mike and Andre. She took a deep breath. "Mike. I miss you." Michonne cried. "I missed you even when I was with you. Back at the camp, it wasn't you who did it." She nodded to herself, finally feeling the anger leave her body. "But, you were wrong because I'm still here and you could be too and he could be here." She said, looking at Andre. "Thank you. Thank you for giving me that little bundle of joy. You were the first one to truly open my heart and I never knew how much love I could give, until I had you two in my life. Thank you." Michonne wiped the tears from her eyes. "I know the answer. I know why. I get it now."

Michonne finally stood up and wiped the tears from her eyes. When she looked up they were gone and once again she was alone and surrounded by walkers. However, this time she knew for sure that this wasn't what she wanted. She sighed and looked up at the sky."Thank you." she whispered. Then, she began back towards the road. Michonne made a new promise to herself as she walked-she was done being alone.


	4. Chapter 4

In this new world, time and peace were illusions. Each day was measured by the amount of walkers killed, the number of hours slept, and the food and water consumed. The days blurred together and the months didn't matter. Thus, no one ever knew the time, but they could tell you if they slept, ate or killed a walker that day. To survive, you had to be attentive, always alert and always ready. However, the prison had provided a perfect illusion, where time mattered and peace was attainable. Carl stared at his bruised and broken father, lying on the floor. Tears streaked his face, washing the dirt that had settled from his run during the day.

"I'm scared, Dad." He whispered, watching the shallow breaths that escaped from his father's mouth.

He now longed for the scheduled routine of the prison. He missed waking up at eight to do his chores and the afternoon school/survival sessions with Carol, skipping class to read comic books in the tomb with Patrick, babysitting Judith during the council meetings and, waiting for Michonne to come back from her search. He even missed farming. All the mundane things he hated about the prison, now made Carl miss it even more.

He crawled next to Rick's arm and closed his eyes. He fell asleep cuddled by Rick's side, like he used to do when he was five.

* * *

"You shouldn't have risked it, going out there like that. It's dangerous." Rick finally said, after hearing about Carl's run. He looked over at his son.

"I was careful." Carl explained.

Rick nodded. All the time spent trying to protect Carl from this new world, but here he was alive and surviving without him.

He sighed. "Well, its good that you found food."

"I found more, but I ate it all."

"What was it?" Rick quipped.

"A tub of pudding."

Rick smiled. He was his son after all. After everything that happened, he still had his son with him.

"Carl, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't keep it for you. I wanted too. I wanted that for you and your sister." He paused, trying not to think of what they had lost.

"Dad, I know." Carl sighed.

"You're a man now Carl. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be." Carl said.

Carl paused taking a bite of granola bar, reflecting on their conversation. "Dad, do you think they made it? Judith, Michonne, Daryl..."

Rick glanced down at his bruised hands. "Maybe. I don't know. But, we can't think about that now."

Carl nodded, trying to accept their new lives. They sat in silence remembering those they had lost. It was in this moment that they heard a knock at the door. Immediately, they both grabbed their guns. Rick hobbled up and looked at the peephole. At first, he thought he was hallucinating, but then she raised her eyebrow and smiled. Rick smiled, chuckling as he turned back towards Carl. It was a miracle. Twice she showed up at his front steps.

"What?" Carl questioned.

"It's for you." Rick replied, smiling. He moved away from the couch to allow Carl to see. Carl curiously moved towards the door. He looked at the peephole and smiled.

Rick stood up from the couch. "C'mon." He said, tilting his head to the side. Immediately, Carl helped him push the couch away from the door. He opened the door and grinned. Michonne smiled and pulled him into a hug. She held on to him tight and kissed his over grown hair. Letting go of the fight and the anger lead her to them. "Thank you." She whispered to herself and to the universe. Michonne smiled at the irony of finding them in the type of neighborhood that she would have avoided in her old life. "Thank you." She said to herself.

"What?" Carl asked, finally pulling away from her. Tears spilled from his eyes as he looked up at her. Michonne shook her head just smiling.

"C'mon in." Rick drawled, smiling at the scene before him. For everything that he had lost, Rick still had so much.

Michonne nodded, as Carl led her through the door. She helped him push the couch back towards the door then she turned towards Rick. He looked worse than she remembered. Carl stood between Rick and Michonne and watched as they both took each other in. Despite, his bruises Rick tried to look strong, but once Michonne finished looking him over and finally looked at his eyes, Rick melted. His tough exterior went away and he felt like he was back at the prison fence looking at Michonne for the first time again. Just like the first time, Rick felt like she was looking at his soul.

"Rick..." Michonne whispered. She slowly moved towards him inch by inch, until she was standing face to face. Michonne reached out and touched his chest, feeling the bruises that grazed them. She watched his face as he winced with every touch. Trying to be as gentle as possible, she moved up towards his shoulders. In her mind, she calculated how badly he was injured. Finally, she placed her hands on his face. Gently, she moved past the fresh scars and bruises.

Rick closed his eyes, crumbling in her arms. For the first time, since he had woken up that day, Rick felt like he could breath. He didn't feel like the world was on his shoulders. Michonne let go of his face and moved her hands back to meet his. She lightly squeezed his hands, reminding him that she was real. Rick opened his eyes and found Michonne smiling at him. He looked over at Carl, and found him smiling as well. Michonne pulled Carl in. With her arm around Carl and her hand holding on to Rick, Michonne beamed at both of them.

"We're alive." She finally said.

* * *

They sat on the floor, eating cereal and granola bars, and catching up. Michonne told them about how she found them. She smiled proudly as Carl talked about his first solo run.

"That explains the empty can of pudding I found on my way here." She told Carl.

Carl nodded, laughing at his roller coaster of a day. "Oh, Michonne. I found some old comic books as well."

"You'll let me read them once you're done."

"Of course." Carl replied.

Rick watched the interaction between Michonne and his son. Hearing some type of happiness in Carl's voice, Rick finally felt like he hadn't completely ruined everything. Carl yawned and on cue, Rick followed and then Michonne

"Okay, time for bed." Michonne said. "I'll keep first watch."

"It's alright. I got it." Rick stated.

"Rick, you can barely open your other eye." Michonne replied.

"Yeah, Dad. Plus, you were knocked out all day." Carl agreed.

Michonne scrunched her lips. The thought of Rick being unconscious for a whole day worried her.

Rick attempted to raise both his hands up. "Fine."

Carl leaned over and hugged Michonne then Rick, before getting up and heading towards one of the bedrooms upstairs. Watching him climb up the stairs, Rick turned toward Michonne. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet. I still need to look at those bruises." Michonne said, standing up as she set out to find a first aid kit.

Rick chuckled as he watched her go. A part of him felt like he was dreaming. It was too good to be real. Michonne finding them after the disaster at the prison was god-sent. It was the like the universe would break him down, only to build him up again. First, it was losing Lori, but then Judith came. Now, he had lost the prison and most of his family, but he had found Michonne again. He stared down at his bruised hands in awe of the sheer luck that surrounded him.

"What you smiling about?" Michonne asked, as she returned with a first aid kit in hand.

"Still can't believe you're here." Rick replied.

She sat down beside him and smiled. "I felt a couple cracks in your ribs earlier." Michonne began.

Rick nodded, not questioning her diagnosis as he removed his shirt. It was strange having someone take care of him. He watched as Michonne gently placed her hands on his ribs and chest again, before opening the first aid kit. Silence filled the room as Michonne worked. She cleaned the area, then placed the gauze around it. From the chest, she moved to his arms and hands. Remembering the limp in his movements, she paused. "How bad was the shot?" She asked.

Lost in thought, Rick looked up at her concerned face. "It was clean. I think." He grabbed the scissors next to Michonne and cut the bottom of his jeans to reveal a bloody wound.

Michonne nodded and began working on the wound. She frowned as she concentrated on her work. "I should have found him before..." Michonne stopped and just shook her head.

"He's dead now." Rick said. Watching her scrunch her lips, Rick touched her arm, stopping her from fixing his wound. "We're alive. That's all that matters." Rick replied.

She continued wrapping his wound. "How is he?" She asked looking up towards the upper room that Carl was in.

"He's probably better now that you are here." Rick answered. "We're probably all better now that you are here." He smiled.

She chuckled. "C'mon. You're all done."

Rick carefully put on his shirt. He winced at the pain, as he slowly got up. Michonne followed him, helping him stand up. Gently, she moved him to the couch. Grabbing the two blankets on the floor, she tucked Rick in for the night. As she walked away to take watch, Rick held on to her hand.

"Rick?" Michonne hesitated.

"We're alive."

She smiled. "We're alive."


	5. Chapter 5

The first day they all slept, routinely taking turns to take watch. Michonne's sleeping station lay beside Rick on the couch, so that she could check on him as he slept. His breathing was still shallow, but it wasn't as intense as when she first arrived. Eventually, Carl set up shop beside them, leaving the upstairs bedroom he had previously occupied. Thus, the living room had turned into a sleeping station. A sigh of relief escaped Rick's breath, every time he woke up and saw Michonne and Carl sleeping beside him. For all that he had lost at the prison, he found that he still had so much more to live and fight for.

The next morning, Rick woke up to the sound of clinking plates. He immediately reached for his gun in a panic, until he heard Carl laughing. Rick looked at the empty spaces beside him, realizing that they had both woken up. He loosened the hold on his gun and relaxed back into the couch. Closing his eyes, he enjoyed the laughter that filled the house. He couldn't hear a word they were saying, but he could instantly make out Carl's laugh. The last time he'd heard Carl laugh like that was from a time before this one. A time where walkers didn't roam the streets.

The laughter died down and Rick opened his eyes, witnessing a smiling Michonne covered in white goop. He raised an eyebrow in suspense, waiting to hear the story behind the mess. Michonne shrugged. "Milk." She responded before going up the stairs to find a new shirt.

He smiled as he watched her go. Shaking his head, he closed his eyes again taking in how normal it all felt. It reminded him of his old life. Sleeping in on Saturdays and waking up to the sound of Lori and Carl laughing. It was strange, but it also felt more real. He appreciated it more now than he had before. The floor creaked as Michonne passed him again to enter the kitchen.

* * *

Carl sat the dining room table, eating a bowl of dry cereal as he waited for Michonne to return. He woke up to the sound of plates clinking from the kitchen. Curious, Carl followed the sound, finding Michonne arranging bowls. She was cleaning the bowls with a towel and when he'd asked what she was doing. She simply told him breakfast. Michonne had found a carton of milk that surprisingly looked new and fresh, but when she'd opened it, the carton exploded all over her. Carl burst out laughing. He laughed so hard his sides hurt and tears streamed from his eyes. For the first time, he'd woken up and not felt overwhelmed by the loss of his sister and his friends at the prison. Thus, as he sat the table waiting for Michonne, he realized how weird and normal it all felt: waking up in a house, eating breakfast in a bowl, sitting at the dining room table, laughing...

Lost in his thoughts, Carl looked up smiling as Michonne entered the dining room. He immediately laughed, looking at the over sized white shirt that Michonne wore. It reminded him of those awful pirate costumes that showed up every Halloween.

Michonne twirled, letting him take in her new outfit. "Do you have something to say about my new and comfortable shirt?"

Carl chuckled. "Nope. It looks great."

"Liar." She joked, as she rolled up her sleeves. Within seconds, she fashioned the shirt then twirled again to get Carl's approval.

"Better." He responded, as she sat down to join him.

Michonne poured a bowl of dry cereal, watching him as he ate. It had been an intense couple of days and she really liked hearing him laugh again. He'd been through so much, that sometimes it was easy to forget that he was just a kid. From the moment she had met him, Carl had a maturity and sense of purpose and duty that amazed her, even now. He was definitely his father's child, but yet he was sweet. He had a way of seeing the good in people. She remembered their rendezvous mission to get the family picture for Judith. Carl was sweet like that. He was able to remember the little things in the midst of the chaos. Michonne smiled, reflecting on the time Carl packed her cat sculpture in her bag, as she set out to find the Governor. Every time she would come back, she would return the sculpture to his cell, until she had to leave again. It was their thing. But, now the sculpture was probably destroyed along with the rest of the prison.

"How'd you find the milk?" Carl asked, distracting Michonne from her thoughts.

She smiled. "I have my ways. But, I wished I would have found some soy milk."

Carl looked at her with disgust. "Soy milk?" He paused. "Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously. It is actually quite delicious. Have you ever tried it?" Michonne quipped.

"My best friend was allergic to dairy, so he used to bring this soy stuff with him to lunch everyday. I tried it and I puked."

"No." Michonne laughed.

Carl laughed. "Okay, I almost puked, but it was disgusting. I don't know how you can drink that stuff. I mean. I would rather have powdered milk than that stuff."

"Yeah, right." She smiled, taking a bite of her own cereal.

"Okay, I would rather have Judith's..." Carl stopped. The smile faded from his face as he realized what he said. He looked down at his bowl, playing around with the cereal. Michonne stopped and looked over at Carl. She knew how difficult it was for him. He was there when she was born and he'd chosen her name.

"I don't think I'm hungry anymore." He said, as he stood up from the table. "I'm going to finish my comics upstairs."

Michonne touched his arm, before he walked away. "I'm here."

"I know." He replied, as he walked away.

Carl walked through the living room on his way upstairs, finding his dad getting up from the couch.

"You eat?" Rick asked, as Carl walked up the stairs.

"Yeah." Carl answered quickly, as he rushed into one of the room upstairs.

Rick frowned. He straightened up the couch and made his way into the kitchen. Michonne walked in from the dining room with two bowls in hand, as Rick entered.

"Thank you." Rick said. "I heard him laughing in there this morning. Almost forgot what that sounded like."

Michonne nodded as she placed the bowls on the counter. Rick looked her over and sighed, before shifting his eyes to the kitchen island. He walked to the center and grabbed one of the clean bowls. Michonne leaned on the counter as she watched Rick fidget around. She knew that he saw Carl go up the stairs and probably noticed the look on his face.

"Rick." Michonne started.

Rick interrupted. "He needs you." He stopped fidgeting with the bowl and looked up. "I can't be his father and his best friend. He needs you." Rick repeated.

Michonne moved to the center of the island, facing Rick.

Rick glanced over at the dining room, where they were sitting. He moved his eyes back towards the bowl. Rick took a deep breath. "I know that's a lot to throw at you, so if you ever feel like you need a break."

"I'm done taking breaks." Michonne responded. "I promised I was going to stick around more."

Rick nodded, remembering the promise Michonne had made on their run. At the time, he'd wanted her to stick around, so that he wouldn't lose anyone else. Now, the promise carried so much more weight because his life and his son's life depended on it. Carl needed her now more than ever and in a way Rick did too. He was unfairly asking a lot from her. Rick glanced up nervously, unsure if Michonne understood. Michonne stood defiant. Her eyes unwavering and unafraid, as Rick looked up. Michonne understood what he was asking, and she wasn't backing away. Rick released his nervous breath.

"How's the wound?" Michonne asked.

Rick poured the cereal into the bowl. "Healing."

"If we're going to stay here a few more days, then we're going to need more supplies." Michonne said, watching Rick's movements. "I'll take Carl to get some." She added, as started moving towards the hallway.

Rick nodded. "I'll come too."

Michonne stopped, turning back towards Rick. "You were unconscious when I arrived."

"I'm awake now." Rick countered, facing Michonne.

"We need you strong." Michonne replied. "Rest. Just one more day."

He looked at Michonne, ready to counter, but the look in her eyes let him know that she wasn't wavering. Rick nodded in agreement, grabbing a spoon for his cereal. Michonne smiled, then walked away to get Carl. Rick watched her walking away, surprised by how quickly he agreed.


End file.
